Summary: Sampson and Delilah seek marriage counseling
Style: Humour Dur: 5-6min
Actors: 1M, 1F, 1M/F
Cast: Therapist (m or f)
Set: Three chairs
Long wig for Samson
(Therapist enters USR and sits in chair reviewing notes. Samson and Delilah enter.
Therapist: (standing) Good morning! You must be Samson and Delilah. My name is Dr. Stevens.
Samson: Thank you for seeing us on such short notice.
Delilah: (giggling) Yes. We just wanted to get into see you as soon as possible.
Therapist: So. What can I do for you this morning?
Delilah: We want to get married, and we thought having some relationship advice would set us on the right track.
Therapist: That’s great. Relationship counseling can be very helpful. Let me start by asking how you met.
Samson: (during this, Delilah looks bored) Well, you know how it is. I had a bad first marriage. I mean, having my father-in-law give my bride to someone else and then my destroying their crops by tying fiery torches to foxes’ tails. Well, let’s just say it wasn’t the best of situations.
Therapist: (nodding) I see.
Samson: So, needless to say, I was a bit soured on relationships then.
Therapist: (still nodding) I see.
Delilah: But then he met me.
Samson: Yep. And it was love at first sight. I mean, look how beautiful she is. What’s not to love?
Delilah: And I just fell in love with him too. That hair just did me in. He’s just so dreamy.
Therapist: I see. But tell me: What else do you know about each other?
Samson and Delilah look at each other and shrug. They say simultaneously:
Samson: She’s beautiful.
Delilah: He’s so dreamy.
(Phone alarm sounds)
Therapist: Well, time’s up. This week, why don’t you think some more about why you love each other. See you next week.
(Samson and Delilah move their chairs slightly away from each other.)
Therapist: Good morning.
(Samson and Delilah mumble greetings.)
Therapist: I sense some tension this morning?
Delilah: Well, I just don’t think Samson trusts me.
Samson: I think I have good reason.
Delilah: And I’m not sure I trust him.
Therapist: What seems to be the issue?
Samson: We were just talking Tuesday evening, and all the sudden, out of nowhere, Delilah asks where I get my strength.
Delilah: It’s a logical question. I mean, I was just curious.
Samson: So I tell her if I’m bound with seven fresh cords that have not been dried, I’d be as weak as any man.
Therapist: Then what?
Samson: That night, Delilah wakes me up yelling, “The Philistines are upon you.” I jump up, and there are seven fresh cords tied around me. Of course, I just break them like dental floss. And you know what she said?
Therapist: Why don’t you tell me, Delilah?
Delilah: I said, “Samson, why did you lie to me? I thought you loved me.”
Therapist: How did that make you feel, Samson?
Samson: Well, not so great, doctor. I do love her, but I’m just wondering why she tied me up.
Delilah: I just wanted to see if you were telling me the truth.
Therapist: I can see why you want to test Samson’s trust, Delilah, but I have to agree that tying Samson up may have been a bit extreme.
(Phone alarm sounds)
Therapist: Time’s up.
(Samson and Delilah look at each other and then at Samson’s watch. These sessions seem short.)
Therapist: Okay. Before we meet next week, I suggest you try other ways of gaining each other’s trust. My secretary has some exercises you might try.
(Samson and Delilah move their chairs even further away from each other.)
Therapist: So, how did we do this week?
Delilah: (whining) I don’t believe Samson really loves me. He just lies to me all the time.
Samson: And she definitely doesn’t love me. I mean, some of the stunts she pulled this week almost got me captured.
Therapist: (sighing) What happened this week?
(The following should be rapid fire. The therapist looks back and forth quickly like watching a ping-pong match.)
Samson: Well, she kept asking me about my strength.
Delilah: And he kept lying to me.
Samson: And she kept doing what I said.
Delilah: Which proved he lied to me.
Together: I thought [he/she] loved me.
(The therapist is clearly flustered.)
Therapist: (clearing throat) Yes. Well. Sometimes love just isn’t enough. It is my professional opinion that you two separate. Get as far away from each other as you possibly can. Today. Now.
(Samson and Delilah look at each other, back to the therapist, and back to each other.)
Samson: But she’s so beautiful.
Delilah: And he’s so dreamy.
(The two get up, and holding hands, they exit.)
Therapist: (shaking his head) I don’t even want to imagine what happens next with those two …
(c) 2016 Sauni Rinehart All rights reserved