An Idiot's Prayer

By Tim Evers


A young male thinks that just by praying, he will get what he wants.


1 male.


MAN: So, I want a new car. Well, God says to ask and I shall receive.
Dear God, I would really like a new car. Your bud, Amen.
Nothing. Hmm. Maybe I should have told him that I loved him.
P.S. I love you.
a lot...
a whole lot...
Sooooooooo much...
You wouldn’t even guess.
Then again I could use Pastor Dave’s sermon from last week.
  (Praying. Very dramatic.)
Oh Lord, how mighty you are. How verily you stand amongst the clouds of heaven. How verily you are. How verily big you are. Verily, verily, verily you are. How you dist storyed the Meneonights you stayed awake. And verily I say unto, you knowith how people thinkith about yon times. And how in yon times, or in yore, verily you stayed Lord, and never didst you think about those days that you knowith to come unto I. So if you be God, or Lord, you perceive, conceive, and all other ceive’s, wouldst you smite me a newith car. In your light, power, height, and weight, I bow under. Your sheep, Tim.
  (Pause. Looks around.)
Looks like it’s time to play hard ball.
Copyright Tim Evers, all rights reserved.
This script may be used free, provided no entrance charge is made for the performance. In return for free use, the author would like to be told when it is performed. He may be contacted at