Feeding the 500

by Dan Wilson


Three "clients" in a soup kitchen discuss the motives of those who work there.


Francis (Frank)
Jerome (Jerry)


(A soup kitchen. AGNES, FRANCIS, and JEROME are in line.)

Jer: I haven't seen you before.

Fra: It's, uh, my first time here.

Jer: Jerome, you can call me Jerry.

Fra: Frank. Good to meet ya.

Agn: Don't be too sure about that.

Jer: That's Agnes. Watch out for her. She's a real pistol.

Agn: Watch out for me? Watch out for him. He's a little soft in the head.

Fra: Oh.

Jer: Compared to her, we're all a little soft in the head. She's the hard-headedest person I know.

Fra: Heh.

Jer: You got a better view Ag, what've they got today?

Agn: The usual slop.

Jer: Hey, hey. It's a lot better than what you'd get out there.

Agn: I used to throw away food better than that.

Jer: Times change. Right Frank?

Fra: Yeah, they sure do.

Agn: Don't start agreeing with him, Franky boy. He'll have you thanking the dog that bites you soon.

Fra: Huh?

Agn: Look at these people. Why do you think that they come down here? Because they feel guilty, that's why. Either that or they're doing "community service" time for too many traffic violations.

Jer: What about Joey?

Ang: What about him?

Jer: Have you ever talked to him?

Agn: I don't talk to nobody. I shouldn't even talk to you, but you won't get outta my face otherwise.

Jer: He's down here every week. He's the nicest guy I've ever met.

Agn: The nice ones are the most dangerous. Be careful.

Fra: She's right.

Jer: Nah. Joey's all right. He tells me that he comes down here because it's what Jesus wants him to do.

Agn: See? Nutty as a fruit cake. I don't go to the shelters any more because of guys like that. Sittin' there, talking to the voices in their heads.

Jer: No, no, no. Not like that. He said that Jesus was all about taking care of people who were down on their luck, like us!

Fra: I heard that all Jesus wanted was for us to be healthy and wealthy...

Agn: And wise. Don't forget wise.

Jer: Nah, you got it all wrong. Jesus was big into feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, healing the sick. In fact once he fed 5,000 people with just a couple fish and some bread.

Agn: Ugh, I hate fish.

Jer: See, what I mean Frank? I'm tellin' you, if Jesus was serving the food here, she'd tell him it was a weird color and smelled funny.

Agn: The food is a funny color.

Fra: You were talking about Joey.

Jer: Yeah, Joey was saying that Jesus wants us to do stuff for others too. Feed, clothe, heal, that kinda stuff. He said that Jesus really cares about what happens to us, guys like you and me. Aw, I bet he even cares about Agnes here.

Agn: Leave me out of this. What is this stuff anyway?

Fra: It's food. And it's hot.

Jer: That's the way to look at it! Ya know, Joey said that a lot of these folks are from churches in the area.

Fra: So it's kinda like God's taking care of us through them.

Agn: I wish he'd take care of me with a nice steak.

Jer: Bread and fish, Agnes. That's all we really need

Fra: Give us this day our daily bread.

Jer: Now, you're talkin' my language.


Dan Wilson, all rights reserved.
This play may be performed free of charge, provided no entrance fee is charged. In return for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of any performance. He may be contacted at sfstagewalker@gmail.com