The Drill Sergeant

By Terri Savage

Summary

Wanting to motivate others to push beyond their weaknesses, our mixed up leader takes the drill sergeant approach. But will this technique really help others or will they just end up needing therapy?

Scriptures

Romans 13

Characters

Leader: Adult Female (if a male is used, substitute Sir for Ma'am)
Assistant - Can be male or female
Recruit 1 - Can be male or female
Recruit 2 - Can be male or female
Recruit 3 - Adult Male
Recruit 4 - Adult Female

Script

(Leader is holding a clipboard with information on all the trainees. One by one the leader will approach and point out a weakness, then order the training necessary to overcome.)

Leader: So, you've signed up to become a leader, but need first to overcome your weaknesses, eh? Well, you've come to the right motivational session! Today we will track down your weakness, and devise a break-through plan that will set you up to overcome and march on to victory! Are you with me?!

All: Yes, Ma'am!

Leader: Wrong! The correct answer is "Ma'am, yes Ma'am!" Now do it again!

All: Ma'am, yes Ma'am!

Leader: That's more like it. Now let's begin. It says here that you're afraid of heights.

Recruit 1: Yes, I am. But what's that got to do with leadership?

Leader: It's got everything to do with leadership, recruit! How do you expect to mount up with eagle's wings and soar if you're afraid of heights!?!?! And if YOU'RE afraid to mount up with eagle's wings, you'll hold back everyone who follows you. So take your sorry behind to room 104. They're leaving in 10 minutes to be taken to the top of Mount Kukamonga where they will rapel to the bottom.

Recruit 1: Rapel? But I don't know how to rapel!

Leader: Stop whining recruit, they'll give you a crash course on the helicopter flight up!

Recruit: Crash course …helicopter … uhh uhhh uhhhh.

Leader: Take this recruit to their destination!

Assistant: Ma'am, yes ma'am! (drags recruit 1 out)

Leader: So, what's your problem? Hmmmmm, it says here you have a hard time remembering things.

Recruit 2: Uhhhh, yeah, that's right.

Leader: The answer is "Ma'am, yes ma'am"!

Recruit 2: Okay, I think I can remember that.

Leader: So say it recruit!

Recruit 2: Oh, yeah. Uh …..Ma'am, yes ma'am.

Leader: Recite Philippians 4:13.

Recruit 2: (Doesn't speak, just has the deer in the headlights look)

Leader: Repeat after me, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Recruit 2: I can…I can…. I can do all things…. With… I can do all things with Christ-like strength. (Take a long time saying this, pause every couple of words or so)

Leader: I said, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Recruit 2: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Leader: Again!

Recruit 2: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Leader: Again!

Recruit 2: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Leader: Good - now go to room 110. They're memorizing the entire New Testament.

They're already on Luke, so you'll have to catch up.

Recruit 2: But, but …. I …

Leader: Take this recruit to their destination!

Assistant: Ma'am, yes ma'am.

Leader: So, what have we here? It says you hold grudges against those who've wronged you.

Recruit 3: Yeah, so what of it?

Leader: You can't very well be an effective spiritual leader if you're harboring bitterness, now can you? So what's the longest running grudge you're holding and against whom?

Recruit 3: Timmy Taylor, preschool - he stole my pack of bazooka bubble gum.

Leader: And you're still holding a grudge?

Recruit 3: He didn't even chew it - he fed it to the neighbors' dog to see if he could blow bubbles!

Leader: I see. You've got some serious issues….Take this recruit to the auditorium.

Assistant: Begging the leader's pardon but, isn't that a bit harsh?

Leader: This recruit needs to be an over-comer! Now take that recruit out!

Recruit 3: So where am I going?

Assistant: To the auditorium, where you'll have to get up in front of 200 people and sing the Barney song for hours and then learn the value of group hugs.

Recruit 3: The Barney song - what's that?

Assistant: You know - (singing) I love you, you love me….

Recruit 3: No, no please, anything but that!!!! (wailing as they're removed from the stage.

Leader: So recruit, what seems to be your problem? Vanity. What do you have to say for yourself!?!

Recruit 4: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Leader: Mmhhmm. You need a strong lesson in becoming a Proverbs 31 woman. Take this recruit to room 109.

Recruit 4: And just WHAT precisely will I be doing there?

Leader: I believe this session is on "How to plant a vineyard - working with eager hands".

Recruit 4: Well, I never!

Leader: Take this recruit out!

Recruit: (Screams as she's being taken out) But I just had a manicure!

Leader: Being a leader isn't easy - that's why you need someone who's an expert in motivational tactics. Considering leadership? Come see me.

LIGHTS OUT

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This script may be used without royalty payment, provided no charge is made for entrance. In return, the author would like to be notified if this drama is used and for what purpose. You may contact me at Terri.Savage@specialtycare.net