Acute Religiosity

By Terri Savage


When a woman still feels "empty" after doing "all the right things", she opts to visit a doctor for a spiritual check-up but is somewhat shocked at the diagnosis.


Dr Bob


(Scene - Amy's waiting in a doctor's office, reading through a magazine. In walks Dr. Bob, looking over chart as he enters. After a few seconds, he addresses Amy.)

Dr. Bob - So, you're here for a spiritual check up?

Amy - That's right, Doc. Even though I do all the things I'm supposed to do, I still seem …. Unfulfilled… hollow. I'm here to find out what else I can do.

Dr. Bob - All right, we'll see what we can do about this. I'm Dr. Bob. (extending hand to Amy)

Amy - Dr. Bob? Isn't that a character from the Muppets?

Dr. Bob - Uh… yeah, I think so.

Amy - (using muppet voice) So Dr. Bob - where's Miss Piggy?! (laughing)

Dr. Bob - Cute. Shall we get started?

Amy - ahem … sure.

Dr Bob - Let's just go over the spiritual check list. How's your prayer life?

Amy - Great! I pray every day before I eat.

Dr. Bob - Before you eat?

Amy - Yeah, "Thank you Lord for this food, please bless it into my body, Amen." (run through it sort of in a fast and "blah, blah, blah" way) You know. Oh, and I don't just do this for regular meals, though, I do this for snacks, too. ….. Even breath mints! Yep, I pray daily!

Dr. Bob - I see. And do you attend church regularly?

Amy - Oh yeah, I'm there every Sunday and Wednesday! I even joined the choir - do you want to hear me sing?

Dr. Bob - No, that's okay - I believe you. How about Bible reading - do you do this regularly?

Amy - Absolutely! I committed to reading 4 pages a day and I haven't missed yet!

Dr. Bob - And it's not helping you?

Amy - What do you mean, not helping me?

Dr. Bob - You know, new revelations, a greater understanding of God's Word, excitement about what you've read? Are you growing as you read and study the Bible?

Amy - Look Doc, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I committed to read because that's what I'm supposed to do. I go to church and I pray, just like I'm supposed to do. I came here to find out what else, if anything, I'm supposed to do as a Christian. As far as I can see, I'm very religious.

Dr. Bob - Yeah, that's usually the first sign of this illness. I think I know what's wrong. You have (deep breath, pause for affect) …… Acute Religiosity.

Amy - Acute Religiosity - what's that?!?!?!

Dr. Bob - Acute Religiosity is a very common and dangerous condition in which you mistake duties for devotion; responsibility for reverence; works for worship.

Amy - But, how? …. Why? …. What do I do now? Is there any hope?

Dr. Bob - Start by checking your motives. When you pray, are truly thankful or are you just talking? When you read, are you trying to learn or just following through on a commitment? Pay attention to why you do what you do, then learn to do them for the right reasons.

Amy - But Dr. Bob, how will I know what the right reasons are?

Dr. Bob - Ask God to check your heart. And a good sermon on the "The Dangers of a Disciplined Lifestyle" wouldn't hurt. (feel free to change the title to match your Pastor's sermon)

Amy - (Gulps) This is somewhat revolutionary! But... (pause) thank you, Dr. Bob - thank you! (shake his hand vigorously)

(Lights Out.)


Copyright Terri Savage, all rights reserved. Should you use this script would you be so kind as to let us know of its use?