Woman: I hope no one I know is watching (she looks around again quickly) I must be crazy...these machines are such a rip-off!!! (and begins to walk away, but stops and thinks for a moment; she walks back to the machine again)
(She looks down at the top of the machine) I can't believe I'm doing this...If Janet ever finds out....(pause) Well, I'm here, I might as well read the instructions...
(reads instructions) 'Are you a 'love machine?' Or are you loser at love? Find out now by inserting one quarter in the slot below.' Just who do they think they are kidding...a 'love machine'???!!!! Okay, I'll bite; let's see what it does...
(pause, she looks out and around her again to see if anyone is looking, finds a quarter in her purse and puts it in the machine) (special effect for 5 seconds; screams and jumps back, looking around to see if anyone notices)
I knew it...they should have called it an 'Embarrassment Machine!'(pompously starts to leave, but notices a card in the slot) Well, I guess I should read the card....I paid a quarter for it.
(gets card and reads it to herself, then explodes) Try again!!! I don't believe this!
(Reads the card out loud) 'Try again. You need at least 2 chances, considering the lousy love life you have' You stupid machine! (Gently kicks the base of the machine) What do you know about my love life? My last boyfriend said I was the best girlfriend he ever had! I had 3 guys ask me to the prom last year, and I could have had more!
(Angrily looks at card; stomps her foot and pauses....then, with a jerk, she reaches into her purse for another quarter) Okay, Mr. 'Love
Machine', here's your 'second chance'!
(She puts the quarter in the machine and the special effect happens again...she jumps and looks around, but not as much as the first time.)
I can't believe I'm paying for this to happen...
(She takes the card and reads it out loud) 'Gotcha, didn't I?' Wait a minute, that's impossible! That machine knew I was going to take another card!!!
(Resumes reading) 'So, where are your boyfriends now?' What!!!??? I...well, they're...I mean...(pause) It's none of your business! Just because he's dating my EX-best friend, it doesn't mean anything! I could get him back anytime I want. Janet thinks she's so hot because she with him now....But he's not worth having...I was getting ready to dump him anyhow...What am I doing??!!! I'm talking to a machine!! This is crazy...I'm getting out of here (starts to leave, but returns)
Alright, I'm giving you one more chance to give me some good news (reaches into purse, rummages around and finds a quarter) Okay...here's my last quarter: give me some good news (puts the quarter in the slot)
(Special effect; she looks up, closes her eyes and shakes her head as if to say 'Not this again' takes card after music ends. She reads the card out loud) 'What you need is lasting love. For one more quarter, I'll tell you where you can get it.'
(Looks at audience) Love that lasts? No, that's really impossible (pause)...isn't it?(Her eyes open very wide open at audience, staring for a moment. Then, with a jerk, rips into her pocket book) I know there's another quarter in here somewhere...(freeze)
(Lights down low, except for spot on love machine. Bring up music for 5 seconds, then fade out music, with only white spot on machine then quick fade all stage lights to low.)
© Fred Lane, Crosswind Community Church, All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: firstname.lastname@example.org