By Murray Shadbolt
Bob is in financial difficulty. The bills are piling up and so is the stress. He is unwilling to talk about it or admit that he needs help, misleading his wife as to the seriousness of the situation, causing marital problems. He tries to maintain the pretence that his family is well off so others will not realise the difficulties they are in. In his desperation he is open to deception and falls for a scam, the results of which make things worse.
Bob: married, educated but lacking in managerial skills, this
character can really be anyone of any gender or age. However, this
script is written for a man in his 20-30s who is raised to believe
that the man should be able to provide for all the needs of his
(Bob enters. He is beginning work for the day, shuffling papers, when his mobile phone rings. His wife is reminding him about bills that are to be paid.)
Bob: Yeah I know. (pause) The power bill isn't due until next Thursday, final subs are due tomorrow. (pause) Look it'll be fine. (pause) No, it won't come to that. (pause) I don't know. If it happens I'll think of something. (pause) Yeah. (pause) Yeah. Leave in the microwave I'll... (person on other end has hung up) Hello? (pause) hello? (checks signal and then hangs up).
Boy, there has got to be some way I could make more money. At least get a better cellphone.
(Courier arrives with mail. Passes letter to Bob who thanks the Courier, opens the letter and reads it aloud.)
Do you wish there was some way you could make more money? Well there is! Plus reply immediately for a chance to win the latest in cellular communication technology.
Request a copy of the world's best and absolutely guaranteed way to make money. And if you reply immediately you go into the draw to win the latest and greatest of cellular communication technology. Simply sign the enclosed documents and return them now. In fact, we can't wait for you to have more money now! Send us a copy of your bank deposit slip and we will deposit cash directly into your account. Up to $100 for every account you have, but only if you reply now! Just imagine what you would do with all that extra cash. Bills piling up? Not for long! This offer is guaranteed to teach you the key secret shared by all millionaires. But only if you sign and return the documents now. We'll do all the rest. Guaranteed. What are you waiting for?"
Yes!! Finally, I get a break.
(Signs letter and fills in deposit slips while humming (or singing) 'I'm in the Money'. Courier enters and picks up letter for urgent delivery. The mobile phone rings again.)
Bob: Yep. (pause) Honey, I haven't forgotten. I know we have to sort out the accounts tonight. (pause) a-hah, (pause) a-hah, (pause) sounds like the brakes are worn. (pause) Well, just use the other car. (pause) Since when? (pause) Why didn't you tell me? (pause) Look. Between the money in the account, and the overdraft.... (pause) no, that's what they are there for, between that - and the savings are there - it will get us through to the next pay. (pause) Yeah. (pause) But it won't come to that because I've arranged something else. (pause) It's guaranteed. (pause) A couple of hundred in the next day or two... (pause) it's probably there now. (pause) Okay, you do that. (pause) What? (pause) Yep, same, love ya, bye.
(Courier arrives with Package. Bob signs and begins to open package. However, before he does, the mobile phone rings again.)
Bob: Hello? (pause) What do you mean, gone? (long pause) I haven't touched the account. The banks probably made a mistake and... (pause) Not since we used that bit of savings to get the Hendersons their present,. (long pause) That's impossible, they have to have signed authorisation for that and I haven't signed.... (pause, realising what has happened) I gotta go. Bye.
(Opens Package completely and reads Letter inside aloud.)
Our warmest thanks for your prompt reply. We firmly believe that to make money you first have to spend money. So we've spent your money straight out of your accounts and made a bundle. Thanks so much for sending back the signed authorisation forms with your bank account details so quickly.
As promised, enclosed are ways to make money. You'll find your coupon book, and the enclosed candles can be used as sources of light and heat. So no need to worry about those power and gas bills you can't afford to pay anymore. Finally we include your personal copy of the money making guide, '101 ways to scam money off friends, family and complete strangers'.
Oh, we promised to share the key secret shared by all millionaires. It is 'A fool and his money are soon parted'.
P.S You didn't win the new cellphone."
(Bob is obviously devastated. The mobile phone rings. Bob goes to answer it but stops and stares at it, realising he can't explain what he did. He gathers up the package, clutches it tightly and flees.)
© Copyright Murray Shadbolt, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed free of charge, provided no entrance fee is charged. In return for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified when the script is used. He may be contacted at: mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org