The Dangling Conversation
By Paul & Daia Martinez and Casey & Chrystal Sanders
(In memory of Dr. Seuss) This is a very fast paced, high energy skit about
the difficulty of communication. It opens with the Husband sitting
in a chair reading a newspaper. The Wife enters, possibly holding
a sheaf of papers in her hand. The Shopper enters quickly, dressed very
garishly and holding several large department store bags that look rather
full. She is a rather outrageous character. The plumber character
is a very loud and boisterous character who takes his job just a little
too far. Unfortunately, he’s not a very good plumber. When
you think of the plumber, think of The Tick. He also enters quickly
and exits even faster. Then there’s Beppo. What can we say
about Beppo? Beppo is a clown, but put him in more of the flashy
clothes that you’ll find at a place like Gadzook’s. His clothes shouldn’t
match at all, but don’t make him painful to look at. Street clothes
work better than a clownsuit for Beppo. We gave him a top hat like
the Cat in the Hat wears as well, and his clothing was a bit disheveled.
Just don’t make him a drunk. Beppo doesn’t drink.
Beppo the Clown
Wife: (enters quickly, walking to husband, sounding aggravated) Honey,
we need to talk.
Husband: (looking nervous)We need to what?
Wife: We need to talk.
Husband: (stands up, starts putting on coat) Wouldn’t you rather take
Wife: No, I think we need to talk.
Shopper: (excitedly) How about we go and shop? Or better yet, buy you
Wife: (nervous and hesitant) A lop? A lop? What is a lop? (starts backing
Shopper: A lop you know, a thing that hops. (hops into Wife’s personal
space, gets in her face)
Wife: A thing that hops? (takes a small backwards hop away from shopper)
Shopper: A thing that hops with ears that flop. (pulls out a stuffed
floppy-eared bunny, wife gets all happy and starts reaching for it. Shopper
begins leading wife to door, using bunny as bait)
(During shopper and wife’s dialogue, husband puts on coat and begins
Husband: I think I’d rather take a walk. (Shopper gets frustrated and
Wife: (turns and points to husband) Take one more step I call a cop.
Besides, I think we need to talk.
Husband: (sounding a little annoyed) Why is it that we need to speak?
Didn’t we do this just last week?
Wife: Seven days prior we did speak, but then was only tongue-in-cheek.
Plumber: (the plumber is loud and boisterous – enters like a cliché
superhero and strikes a pose) You called about a broken sink! I am here
to fix the leak! (Aside to audience) Oh, I feel like such a geek.
Wife: (Accusingly) You never told me of a leak. (upset, turns back
Husband: (Guiltily) I know I mentioned it last week.
Plumber: (starts getting nervous, doesn’t want to be involved) Just
point me to the leaky sink. (husband points vaguely on stage, plumber leaves
and goes to work)
(Note:. For our performance the plumber character had hidden a faucet
on stage beforehand – his work on the ‘sink’ involved mainly pulling on
this faucet until it came loose. He then packed up his tools in a
rather big hurry, poorly hid the faucet under his shirt, handed the husband
the bill and ran out – trying to get away before they noticed that the
sink was actually NOT fixed.)
Husband: Just a moment, let me think. I know I told you of that
Wife: (turns back around) If you did I can't recall; but that’s 'cause
we don’t speak at all!
Plumber: The sink is fixed, the leak and all. Here’s your bill
and it’s not small. Excuse me while I make a call. (exit plumber)
Husband: (shocked, falls into chair) The size of this bill doth make
Wife: (tenderly) Please tell me how you really feel.
Husband: (sighs) I feel there’s something missing still.
Wife: An emptiness that we can’t fill?
Husband: (pulls pill bottle from jacket pocket) Not even with our prescription
Wife: (takes bottle and looks at it, thinks for a second) Maybe we
should look above and seek our God who gave us love.
(Note:. For Beppo’s true inspiration, watch the anime King of Bandit
Jing episode 1, now available on DVD from ADV Films. It comes out
in the first three minutes of the show. It was just so funny we had
to throw it in somewhere.)
Beppo: (enters about halfway up the stage) I (dramatic pause)…I (dramatic
pause)…I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS SKIT! HEHE! OH WELL! (turns to leave)
(Note:. Husband and Wife don’t notice Beppo until he actually speaks
the first time. When he does speak, he speaks loudly, and gets louder
with each successive ‘I’ . In fact, he’s nothing like your typical
circus clown. He’s more of the evil clown that everybody is creeped
out by deep down inside. I’m sure you’ve seen the ‘Can’t sleep, clowns
will eat me…’ shirt or poster. Beppo is THAT kind of clown.
When Husband and Wife see Beppo, they both jump and try to hide behind
each other. Then he says his line, and husband and wife both get
very irritated with him.)
Both: That’s it! We’ll talk in a bit! Once we get these interruptors
to QUIT!!! (husband and wife run after Beppo, trying to catch him)
© 2003 Hillcrest Assembly of God Drama Team This script
is free for use as long as no fee is charged of the audience and notification
of the place, type and date of performance is sent to firstname.lastname@example.org