The Dangling Conversation

By Paul & Daia Martinez and Casey & Chrystal Sanders


(In memory of Dr. Seuss) This is a very fast paced, high energy skit about the difficulty of communication.  It opens with the Husband sitting in a chair reading a newspaper.  The Wife enters, possibly holding a sheaf of papers in her hand. The Shopper enters quickly, dressed very garishly and holding several large department store bags that look rather full. She is a rather outrageous character.   The plumber character is a very loud and boisterous character who takes his job just a little too far.  Unfortunately, he’s not a very good plumber.  When you think of the plumber, think of The Tick.  He also enters quickly and exits even faster.  Then there’s Beppo.  What can we say about Beppo?  Beppo is a clown, but put him in more of the flashy clothes that you’ll find at a place like Gadzook’s.  His clothes shouldn’t match at all, but don’t make him painful to look at.  Street clothes work better than a clownsuit for Beppo.  We gave him a top hat like the Cat in the Hat wears as well, and his clothing was a bit disheveled.  Just don’t make him a drunk.  Beppo doesn’t drink.


Beppo the Clown


Wife: (enters quickly, walking to husband, sounding aggravated) Honey, we need to talk.
Husband: (looking nervous)We need to what?
Wife: We need to talk.
Husband: (stands up, starts putting on coat) Wouldn’t you rather take a walk?
Wife: No, I think we need to talk.
Shopper: (excitedly) How about we go and shop? Or better yet, buy you a lop?
Wife: (nervous and hesitant) A lop? A lop? What is a lop? (starts backing away)
Shopper: A lop you know, a thing that hops. (hops into Wife’s personal space, gets in her face)
Wife: A thing that hops? (takes a small backwards hop away from shopper)
Shopper: A thing that hops with ears that flop. (pulls out a stuffed floppy-eared bunny, wife gets all happy and starts reaching for it. Shopper begins leading wife to door, using bunny as bait)
(During shopper and wife’s dialogue, husband puts on coat and begins sneaking out)
Husband: I think I’d rather take a walk. (Shopper gets frustrated and leaves)
Wife: (turns and points to husband) Take one more step I call a cop.  Besides, I think we need to talk.
Husband: (sounding a little annoyed) Why is it that we need to speak?  Didn’t we do this just last week?
Wife: Seven days prior we did speak, but then was only tongue-in-cheek.
Plumber: (the plumber is loud and boisterous – enters like a cliché superhero and strikes a pose) You called about a broken sink! I am here to fix the leak! (Aside to audience) Oh, I feel like such a geek.
Wife: (Accusingly) You never told me of a leak. (upset, turns back to husband)
Husband: (Guiltily) I know I mentioned it last week.
Plumber: (starts getting nervous, doesn’t want to be involved) Just point me to the leaky sink. (husband points vaguely on stage, plumber leaves and goes to work)
(Note:. For our performance the plumber character had hidden a faucet on stage beforehand – his work on the ‘sink’ involved mainly pulling on this faucet until it came loose.  He then packed up his tools in a rather big hurry, poorly hid the faucet under his shirt, handed the husband the bill and ran out – trying to get away before they noticed that the sink was actually NOT fixed.)
Husband: Just a moment, let me think.  I know I told you of that sink!
Wife: (turns back around) If you did I can't recall; but that’s 'cause we don’t speak at all!
Plumber: The sink is fixed, the leak and all.  Here’s your bill and it’s not small.  Excuse me while I make a call. (exit plumber)
Husband: (shocked, falls into chair) The size of this bill doth make me ill.
Wife: (tenderly) Please tell me how you really feel.
Husband: (sighs) I feel there’s something missing still.
Wife: An emptiness that we can’t fill?
Husband: (pulls pill bottle from jacket pocket) Not even with our prescription pill.
Wife: (takes bottle and looks at it, thinks for a second) Maybe we should look above and seek our God who gave us love.
(Note:. For Beppo’s true inspiration, watch the anime King of Bandit Jing episode 1, now available on DVD from ADV Films.  It comes out in the first three minutes of the show.  It was just so funny we had to throw it in somewhere.)
Beppo: (enters about halfway up the stage) I (dramatic pause)…I (dramatic pause)…I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS SKIT! HEHE! OH WELL! (turns to leave) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!
(Note:. Husband and Wife don’t notice Beppo until he actually speaks the first time.  When he does speak, he speaks loudly, and gets louder with each successive ‘I’ .  In fact, he’s nothing like your typical circus clown.  He’s more of the evil clown that everybody is creeped out by deep down inside.  I’m sure you’ve seen the ‘Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me…’ shirt or poster.  Beppo is THAT kind of clown.  When Husband and Wife see Beppo, they both jump and try to hide behind each other.  Then he says his line, and husband and wife both get very irritated with him.)
Both: That’s it! We’ll talk in a bit! Once we get these interruptors to QUIT!!! (husband and wife run after Beppo, trying to catch him)
© 2003 Hillcrest Assembly of God Drama Team   This script is free for use as long as no fee is charged of the audience and notification of the place, type and date of performance is sent to and