By Marc Harrison
A wife's need to tidy the house threatens the start of a vacation.
Husband and wife
A Broom and/or duster
(Scene: A husband and wife have their bags packed and are getting ready to leave on vacation. The wife stops to straighten up the house.)
Husband: Could you please tell me what you're doing?
Wife: I'm straightening up a few things - hold your horses.
Husband: We are suppose to be leaving on vacation!
Wife: That's why I'm doing it!
Wife: I don't want to leave a dirty house while we're gone. I'm nearly done.
Husband: Why does it matter? No one is going to be here and no one is going to visit - unless we get robbed. And I don't think a robber will care.
Wife: Very funny! You men never understand anything!
Husband: I understand we're going to miss our plane if you don't come on. I understand you're a perfectionist when it comes to this house!
Wife: I just don't like leaving a dirty house. And I am not a perfectionist! My mother was, but I'm not!
Husband: OK, so then why does it matter if we leave a few things scattered around while we're on vacation?
Wife: First of all, I won't have a good time.
Husband: How does a little dust back home keep you from having a good time on vacation?
Wife: If I leave a dirty house behind, then I'll dread coming home to it.
Husband: So you should enjoy being "ON VACATION", you should want our vacation to last as long as possible putting off having to face "the dreaded dirty house home coming"!
Wife: It doesn't work that way.
Husband: OK, so how does it work?
Wife: If I know I have to come home to a mess, then I'll spend my whole vacation thinking about cleaning house. I'll have a lousy time! If you really love me and want me to have a great vacation, then you'll stop yelling at me and help me clean up!
Husband: That's just the point! It's not that dirty! You're a perfectionist!
Wife: Well...maybe just a little bit. But I wouldn't be if you weren't such a slob!
Husband: I'm not a slob! It's just not as important to me. I live my life by GRACE.
Wife: What's that got to do with anything?
Husband: I realized that I'm not perfect and never will be. And if God can accept me even though I'm not perfect, I figure you should too.
Wife: Number 1, I'm not God. And number 2, I think you're just using this as an excuse for the fact that you're a slob and don't even try to change!
Husband: If I can't ever be perfect, then why waste time trying?
Wife: Because God wants us to try our best. And I don't think you should use Him as an excuse for being a slob!
Husband: You think I would use God as an excuse to not clean house?
Wife: Yes I do!
Husband: Well, I might - but if we don't hurry, we're going to spend whole our vacation cleaning house. Planes don't wait!
Wife: It only takes 20 minutes to get to the airport and our plane doesn't leave for 2 hours! Don't you think you're a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to getting to the airport early?
Wife: Let's go dear or we'll miss our plane!
© Marc Harrison
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