By Tom and Cressida Bullock
Based on "F.R.O.G." (Fully Rely On God), this episode of MATES compares fully relying on God to relying on one of the flatmates. Rory and Tom find that Sarah can be relied upon, even if it may not initially appear so.
Inside the flat.
pre-recorded if necessary),
(Opening Theme - See footnote for how to obtain sounds)
Voice Over: (Little Britain Music plays) Mates, Mates, Mates, Land of the flatmates... But who are they? What do they? Who is them? And why?
(Tom and Rory are sat on the sofa.)
Rory: Oh no! I've lost Dan’s favourite watch and I need to give it back to him tomorrow. I know it’s in the house somewhere.
Tom: Ha Ha. You're in for it now.
Rory: Maybe, but I know that you can’t tell the difference between weeds and flowers. I saw you pull all the flowers out of next doors' garden. I also know that they will be back from holiday tomorrow and it's not nice when Mr and Mrs Asbo get nasty.
Tom: Oh no! I thought I was the only person who knew. Listen - I won’t tell anyone what I know about you losing that watch if you don’t tell anyone about my gardening incident. Deal?
Rory: Deal. (Do some kind of funny hand shake.)
Sarah: Entering I heard what you were saying, but don’t worry. I won’t tell either of your secrets.
Rory: (To Tom) What! She’s bound to tell somebody.
Sarah: No. I just said I wouldn’t. You can fully rely on me to keep your secrets. I really do think you should work towards putting them right though.
Rory: But I have already looked.
Tom: Yeah and you're bound to tell them anyway, so what’s the point?
Voice Over: About an hour later.
(Enter Sarah on the phone)
Sarah: Hi could I speak to Dan please? ... Thank you. Yes Dan, sorry to bother you, It’s about your watch…
Rory: Entering Noooo (Grabs phone, says “bye” and hangs up.) Sarah, you said I could rely on you but now I know I can’t. Thanks a lot.
Sarah: But I…
Rory: No, don’t bother me with excuses. I'm really in for it now!
(Exit both of them)
Voice Over: Another hour later.
Tom: Sarah, I saw you in next-doors garden with those flowers. Don’t tell me you have pulled even more out. Oh no. This is terrible.
Sarah: But Tom…
Tom: I knew you would make everything worse. I can’t rely on you at all. Now leave me in peace to watch TV.
(Exit Sarah, Enter Rory.)
Rory: You will never guess what Sarah’s done. I caught her on the phone to Dan talking about his watch. I said we couldn’t rely on her to keep a secret.
Tom: I know, I thought so, too. I just saw her with flowers in her hand next door. I knew she would make things worse if she found out.
Sarah: (Holding up a watch) Hey Rory I’ve found something for you. If you want it that is.
Rory: Oh wow! Thanks, though it’s a bit late now because you've told Dan, haven't you.
Sarah: No - I said I wouldn’t.
Tom: But Rory said…
Sarah: Rory said he caught me on the phone to Dan? Well, if he had listened a little longer he would have known that I was asking what the watch looked like seeing as none of you were likely to tell me. As it turns out, I found it in your collection of underpants.
Rory: Yes, well, um, thanks.
Tom: Huh, you solve all of his problems but you make mine worse. That’s favoritism for you.
Sarah: Look out of the window.
Tom: Wow, it is as good as new, though it can’t have been you that did this. I saw you with those flowers.
Sarah: How else was I meant to plant them. I think you both owe me an apology.
Rory and Tom: Yeah sorry Sarah, we should have relied on you, etc.
Sarah: Will you rely on me another time?
("BOOM BAM BOOM BAM" SOUND EFFECT)
Voice Over: When shall we meet the three again,
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
When the hurly burly's done,
When the battle's lost and won.
Where the place?
At [Enter the name of your Church] in the next episode of MATES!
© Tom and Cressida Bullock. All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged, unless if the money goes to a charity or good cause. In exchange for free performance, the authors would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the script is performed. They will send you any sound files that are used in this episode of MATES for free, by e mail. The authors may be contacted at: firstname.lastname@example.org.