Mates - Episode One

The One With The New Flat Mates

By Tom Bullock (et. al.)


Mates is a series of sketches that regularly appear in the MIX services at Preston Road Church (Yeovil, Somerset, England). They are a spin off from the popular sitcom, FRIENDS. While not directly Christian based, they are designed to tackle moral issues that are related to Christianity. I aim to make them light-hearted and relatively easy to perform. If you use them, please feel free to change character names or parts of the script according to your needs

In this, the first episode of Mates, Tom discovers the importance of rules.


Voice over (Can be pre-recorded if necessary)
Annie-Luce and Lucy-Ann - Different people, but identical in every way and played by the same actress. 


An old, not very good, laptop computer
Small Television
Remote control
Blackboard or White board
Advert for flat


(Setting: The 'MATES' Flat (Living Room). (Opening Tune - See footnote for how to obtain sounds)

Voice Over: In a land not too far from here is a flat. Tom is in charge of it, but he is all alone, so we'll join him now as he searches for two new flat mates.

Tom: (On Phone) Oh, hello. Am I speaking to Sarah?

Sarah: (From off stage) Yes, you are. I thought that you said you'd call me at three o clock. You're seven minutes late.

Tom: (Surprised) Oh, am I? Sorry. I must have got carried away with the (sings) Teletubies, teletubbies, say hello., Eh oe! (Realizes that he's just made a fool of himself) Whoops!

Sarah: It looks like I'm going to have to get you organized when I join you in your flat as your new flatmate. Now tell me, have you got everything ready for when I arrive tomorrow?

Tom: (Away from phone): Cleaned up the lounge - well - just about, washed the dishes, made the beds ... (aside) into even more of a mess than they were. (Back on phone) Yes, I think so.

Sarah: So, you've got me a key?

Tom: Actually I';ve got two. One for you and one for Annie-Luce. She's the other new flatmate who arrives later on today.

Sarah: And also, Tom, I need to know what the rules are.

Tom: Rules?

Sarah: Rules of the flat. Surely you've worked out what the rules are. Rules will help the flat to run smoothly.

Tom: Well ... (to aud) I remember that when Ian and Emma were in charge, they gave me a list of rules but I can't remember for the life of me what they were. I must have stuck to them fairly well though 'cos they never evicted me. I don't see what I need rules for, anyway. (Back on Phone, in a tone of voice that suggests that he thinks that Sarah is really weird). Sarah, I'll let you know what they are when you arrive. (To aud) If I can't think of a way to get around it first!

Sarah: Right then. I'll see you at the flat at 10.00am, prompt and I won't arrive seven minutes late. Goodbye!

Tom: Bye Sarah! Phew! Well she sounded weird. How on earth does she think that rules will help the flat to run smoothly? No-one needs rules!

(Vigorous knock on external door).

Tom: Oh! That'll be Annie-Luce - my new flatmate! I've already told her that there aren't any rules in this flat. Oh no! What will Sarah say? Oh well, I bet that from the moment that she arrives, she'll prove that rules are not necessary.

(Annie Luce Opens Door)

Tom: Hello! You must be Annie-Luce!

Annie-Luce: (Excitedly and shouting) Yes! That's right and I'm here to party! (Runs in and jumps over sofa) Just let me install my programmes onto your laptop! (She heads to Tom's Laptop). I've got loads that I use all the time. (rhetorical question:) You don't mind, do you?

Tom: Well, actually, I suggest that you don't, you see, that laptop doesn't have much space on it but it's got all my work, important letters, credit card details and all my other crucial things on it and if you install anything, it'll probably ...

Computer: This computer has crashed. This computer has crashed. This computer has crashed.

Tom: (Sighs and hits head against wall) .. Crash. I hope that all my files are still OK.

Computer: All files have been erased. All files have been erased.

Tom: Oh No!

Annie-Luce: Come on you stupid thing (hits laptop, causing it to smash into smithereens. Groans and then looks at T.V.) What's that on the telly? Wow! It's <add a local football team hear> versus <add an opposing football team hear>! It looks like <opposing team> might even score a goal! They haven't done that for years! Come On! Come On!

Tom: (Horrified) You're not an <opposing team> Supporter?

Annie-Luce: Yes! And this has to be taped. Where's the remote for the video? (Picks VCR remote up).

Tom: No, I don't think that's a good idea, you see, my favourite T.V. programme "Award winning websites from heaven" is on that tape and I don't want that to get taped over.

Annie-Luce: Too late! Drat, they didn't score.

Tom: (Sarcastically) What a surprise!

Annie-Luce: Anyway. I'll be off now. I'm going to buy some pink paint.

Tom: What for?

Annie-Luce: To paint the dreary walls of this living room. It's boring.

Tom: But you can't do that because I'm in charge and I hate pink.

Annie-Luce: Yes I can. You told me that there weren't any rules to this flat. (Annie-Luce exits through the internal door.)

(Crazy frog music is heard from internal door)

Voice Over: That night Tom could not get any sleep because Annie-Luce stayed up all night dancing to that horrible Crazy Frog Ring Tone. Every time that Tom asked her to turn down the volume, she just replied ...

Annie Luce:
You said that there weren't any rules in this flat.

Voice Over: ... It was then that Tom realised that he needed some rules.

Tom: I realize that I need some rules. (Tom Exits).

Voice Over: By the morning, Tom had evicted Annie Luce as she had become completely out of hand. (Annie Luce exits through external exit).

Tom: Oh and Sarah's going to be arriving in a little while. I bet she'll be prompt.

(There is a knock at the door)

Tom: (Aside) Told you! (Opens door) Hello, you must be Sarah.

Sarah: That is correct. Now I hope that everything's ready for me. My goodness! What's happened to your laptop!?

Tom: It's a bit of a long story.

Sarah: Have you got the rules fully prepared for me now?

Tom: Oh drat! Bother! The rules!

Sarah: What?

Tom: I mean, Oh that! Yessss! The rules are fully sorted!

Sarah: Give me a copy then.

Tom: But you see, (Lying) I typed them up on my Laptop and now the file's been wiped.

Sarah: So what are you going to do now?

Tom: (Still lying) Well, I thought that it would be much better, to emphasis the rules a bit stronger, if you guessed what the rules were and if you guess a rule correctly, I'll write it up on this board.

Sarah: Well, I'd guess that the first rule that you'd have chosen is that all the flat mates are kind and considerate to each other. That way, we'll all be happy with each other and there should be no major falling out and disagreements.

Tom: That sounds good!...  I mean, Well done! You guessed right! So I'll write that one up now. And what would you guess that I'd chosen as the second rule?

Sarah: Well...

Voice over: And about two hours later, Tom had written all the rules on the board after Sarah had 'guessed' them. Now it was 1.00pm.

(Knock on the door)

Tom: (Opens door and slams it shut very quickly) Aaaahhhggggh! That... that ... that ... that was ... Annie-Luce at the door. I'm not answering it!

Sarah: You can't just leave the girl on the door step. I'll answer it. (Opens door and Lucy-Ann comes in). Hello.

Lucy-Ann: Hello. I'm Lucy-Ann.

Tom: Lucy Ann? So you're not Annie-Luce!

Lucy-Ann: No! Who's she?

Tom: Don't ask!

Lucy Ann: OK then. I've been looking for a flat and I saw your advert. (Holds advert up).

Tom: Well you can join us, but we have some rules here and you'll need to agree to them.

Lucy-Ann: (Looks at rules) Shame about Bristol City and Crazy frog - I like them, but I'm sure I can live with those rules. Hey, Tom, do you have a computer and if so, could I install a couple of programmes that I tend to use?

Tom: I'm afraid that my laptop's broken, but even if it worked, there wouldn't be enough space. I'd like to buy a new superdooper laptop, but I've not even got half the money to buy one.

Lucy-Ann: Same here. I've only got half of the money to buy a new one.

Sarah: Well, I'm in the same position, but (points to rules) we could work as a team and buy a laptop as a group for all three of us!

Lucy-Ann and Tom: Yes, great idea, etc.

Sarah: Right, come on then, let's get down to P.C. World!

(Lucy-Ann and Sarah exit through external exit)

Tom: You know what, that Lucy-Ann girl seems to be almost the same as Annie-Luce. She looks the same, she talks the same and her clothes are the same! You could almost believe that she is the same person! But, she's fine, now that we've got these rule. I reckon that without them, it would have been disaster number two and the flat would have been painted orange, my second most hated colour. If we all keep to the rules, we'll get on really well together and we'll be laughing!

Sarah: (From Offstage) Oh! Tom, Hurry up!

Tom: Better go off and choose our computer now!

(Boom Bam Boom)

Voice Over: Will the flatmate's staff in P.C. World be of any use?
Will the keep on getting on well with each other?
And will I ever stop singing the Annie Luce's crazy frog tune?
Find out in the next installment of MATES..

(Closing Theme)


© Tom Bullock (et al).
All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged, unless if the money goes to a charity or good cause.
In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the script is performed. He will send you the sound files that are used in this episode of Mates for free, by e mail.
The author may be contacted at: