Can't Buy Me Love

 By Fred Lane


Two girlfriends are comparing notes on their boyfriends. One is a freshman in college, and her boyfriend/fiancee is an upperclassman and is always broke...she has to pay for everything. The other is a high school senior, and has a boyfriend that always buys things for her because she is worth it. They both realize that their situations are similar, in that neither is happy because of money.


Denise: older girl; Kathy: younger girl


Evening after an afternoon shopping; they are in the parking lot at the mall and headed for the younger girl's car.


Four chairs set on center stage like seats in a car; department store shopping bags (at least 4, from different stores); younger girl has several pieces of jewelry on, older girl has a small engagement ring on; small photo album.


(Lights down low, Can't Buy Me Love playing in background through first refrain; Lights up is cue for girls to walk down aisle together and music to fade out)

(Girls walking down aisle together, Kathy has one bag, Denise has the rest)

Denise: I haven't been here since last summer, when did they start building the new store on the back of the mall?

Kathy: Last winter, I think. It's going to be a Hecht's. I can't wait for it to open. Have you been to the new MacAuthur Mall yet?

(Girls reach the car now; Kathy is at driver's side, Denise on passenger)

Denise: No, not yet. (Bends over to massage her calf) I can tell it's been a long time since I walked the mall like this!

Kathy: (pretends to open back door and puts her bags on the back seat) MacAuthur is really great. You can find labels that they don't even carry in any of the other stores in the area. (gets in the driver's seat)

Denise:(pretends to open back door and puts her bags on the other back seat and appears to speak under her breath) I wouldn't know about that...(and gets in front)

Kathy: (searching for her keys in her purse) What did you say? (finds keys and pretends to put them in the ignition switch)

Denise: Oh,...a...I said ÏWhat do you know about that.

Kathy: (pretends to start the car and remembers the photo album on the back seat) Oh, wait! I almost forgot I have my pictures from the senior prom! I have to show them to you right now! (gets album and shows first picture to Denise) Look, this is at my mom's house before the prom! I gave the duplicate picture to David...(Looks at picture longingly) It was such a beautiful dress.....

Denise: Wow, where did you get that dress? I saw one like it in a magazine a couple of months ago...It must have cost a fortune!

Kathy: (sighs) David bought it for me. He asked me what dress I wanted for the prom. I told him I like this one, but it was too expensive. (Looks at Denise) It cost $450!...He immediately went out and bought it! I couldn't believe my eyes when he gave it to me! My parents couldn't believe it either!

Denise (sadly, looking at the picture) I'll bet. My mother made my prom dress. (pause, looks at kathy) Where does David get all his money from?

Kathy: His parents are loaded. They give him everything he wants and he's got a credit card that his parents pay for. So, everytime we go out, he's buying stuff for me. (shows Denise her rings) I mean, look at these rings! We've been going together for 6 months, and he has bought me a piece of jewelry every month! It's almost like he's trying to ÏbuyÓ me.

Denise: (looks at Kathy's jewelry) Cal could take a few lessons from David...actually, he could take alot of lessons!

Kathy: (Puts her hands down and looks at Denise) What's wrong with Cal? I thought you guys were doing great?

Denise: (looks away) Well, we are, kinda (pause, and she looks back)I mean, he's not mean, and he doesn't party...much. I guess he's a pretty good guy. (looks away) He did ask me to marry him.

Kathy: (very excited and surprised) He DID? What did you say?

Denise: (sadly) I said yes.

Kathy: (still excited)Oh, that's so wonderful! (hugs Denise and sits back in her seat, and pauses for a moment, looking at Denise, who returns to looking away)Denise, that's great news! Aren't you happy about it?

Denise: (looks at Kathy and then down) Well, yeah I am, sorta...Its just...well, just look at my ring (holds hand out to Kathy) if you can find it!

Kathy: (looking at the ring) Denise, it's a pretty ring! (pause and looks at Denise) Maybe it's all he could afford.

Denise: (Shakes head) No, that's not it. I mean, he's not rich, but he's got enough money...except when it comes to me! He's always broke, so when we go out, I always end up paying for everything. (Shrugs her shoulders) You know, I wouldn't mind sharing the cost, (looks at Kathy) but everytime?! (holds out hand with ring again) Guess who had to buy this?

Kathy: Not you?

Denise: You got it, girlfriend! (lowers hand and pause) I wish I had your problems. You want to swap?

Kathy: No, but maybe we could put them together and make one good guy!

(Both girls look at each other, and start to laugh)


© Fred Lane, Crosswind Community Church, All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: