Snowy White and the 5 Tottery Dears

By Michelle Pitman


In the Entertainment room at a home for elderly dwarves.  Snowy White is not really 'young' herself but looks after her folk with patience and respect.  Snowy prepares to sit at a piano to begin a favourite song but realizes she can't find her spectacles.  She proceeds to "turn the place upside down" looking for them whilst all the while they are perched on top of her head.  The following conversation is held while Snowy is searching high and low for her specs.  All the folk are seated in their armchairs, although TD 2 is an Old School English Gentleman and tends to stand and pace a bit more than most.  There's a spot on top of the piano that Snowy checks periodically for her specs during the course of the play - they're never there until TD 2 absently places them there towards the end of the play].


Snowy White
5 Tottery Dears
(if you don't have 5 just make it to whatever number of people you have available and combine or eliminate some of the text)



Snowy White: [At the piano] Yes!  We can sing the song Jesus Still Loves me.  Just let me get organized. [Sorts out music for the song but has trouble reading the pages]  Now where did I put my glasses? [Proceeds to look all about for her/his specs]

TD 1: [Cups hand to ear] Eh!  What did you say dear?

TD 2: What's all this about then?  When I was a young'un I KNEW where EVERYTHING was!  Could put me finger onto things instantly.  Kids these days couldn't find a needle on a camel!

TD 3: [Knitting - always knitting] Did someone say they wanted to fiddle with a caramel?  I love caramel; can I fiddle with some too?

SNOWY WHITE: [into TD 3's ear] He said NEEDLE ON A CAMEL dear.

TD 3: Well there's no need to shout. They'll all be wanting one then!

TD 4: [Always has his/her head in a book so misses most parts of most conversations] What?

TD 1: Eh!  You talking to me lovey?

TD 3: What?

TD 4: What will they be wantin'?

TD 2: That's just what I'm sayin' When I was a young'un I KNEW what I wanted and I got up and got it myself. Kids these days just don't know what they want.

TD 5: [Looking up at Snowy pleadingly] Do we have to look too!  My knees ain't what they used to be you know! [Snowy shakes her head 'no' and pats him/her on the knee]

SNOWY WHITE: It's all-right, I know I left them around here somewhere.

TD 4: Will someone tell me what they want!

TD 3: Caramel - they'll all be wanting caramel.

SNOWY WHITE: He said CAMEL dear!

TD 1: Eh! Whose flannel? When are we singing Jesus still loves me?

TD 5: Are we getting a camel?

TD 2: Now that would be something!  I myself rode camels in the Foreign Legion in Algiers in '23.  Filthy animals I tell you, just filthy.

Snowy White: Well!  That's it!  I'll just have to pray about it!

TD 4: What would the Lord want to do with camels and flannel is what I'd like to know. [TD 4 watches Snowy fussing about his/her chair and as Snowy bends down to look under it - TD 4 pulls Snowy's specs off her/his head and hands them to TD 2. TD 2 looks at them as if he doesn't know what they're for and so absently puts them on top of the piano]

TD 5: Should we pray for the camel then?

TD 2: Had a good seat I did though!  Could outlast the best of them for miles.  It was all in the knees you know.  Had to grip with the knees.  Kids these days don't know how to use their knees.

TD 1: Eh! Did someone say fleas!  I don't have fleas!

SNOWY WHITE: KNEES he said KNEES dear! [Proceeds to search about the Piano again]

TD 1: No I don't need to sneeze dear! But, Jesus still loves me.  Can we sing that song yet Snowy?

TD 5: Oh!  Has the camel got a cold?  Is that why we're praying for the camel?

SNOWY WHITE: [Discovers the specs on top of the piano where TD 2 had put them.  Looks at them quizzically - she has looked in that very spot a few times and they weren't there then.  Shakes head then grins a big grin] I've found them!  I've found them everyone!  Yep! Miracles do happen! And Jesus still loves me!

TD 1: Jesus still loves me too dear!

TD 2: Well of course - Jesus still loves me - positive 'bout that I am!  Kids these days need to know about Jesus I say!

TD 3: Does Jesus have any caramel?  I love caramel!

TD 4: How did we get from camels to Jesus is what I'd like to know?

TD 5: Did Jesus help the camel?

SNOWY WHITE: [Shrugs and says to audience] Oh Well!  You couldn't say life was dull around here could you!  I'm glad Jesus still loves me - and He loves you too.  [Back to the folk in the armchairs] C'mon, folks, I've got my glasses now, we can sing that song you all like so much.

(They all stand and with song sheets in hand they sing the song Jesus Still loves me (Seniors Version) with gusto.)


© Michelle Pitman 2002, all rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any
entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what
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