Mary - modern day mom to be
Joe - modern day dad to be
Bill - homeowner questioning his beliefs, or lack thereof
(Scene opens with Bill decorating for Christmas. )
Bill: I donít know why Iím doing this! If it werenít for this awful snowstorm I would be on my way to Vail for a ski vacation. I wanted snow, God, but not this much at this time! I donít know why Iím talking to you. Iím not even sure youíre there, and if you are you probably donít give two hoots about me anyway. (He looks around at all the decorations) I wasnít going to do this. Remember? I told my sister the world is crazy. We go all out, spend hundreds of dollars we canít afford, put a TREE in our house, put up all kinds of decorations, bake a ton of cookies and for what? Because a baby was supposedly born in a tiny town in a faraway land 2,000 years ago! Big deal. There are probably thousands of babies born every day all over the world. We donít go crazy over every one. Oh, I know you were supposedly different. After all, you were God come to earth. So? What difference does that make to my life everyday? I guess I sound like Scrooge to you donít I, God? Well, Iím not Scrooge. I sent out my Christmas presents like a good son, brother and uncle. Itís not the money; itís the meaning. What does it all mean? Anything at all? Iím probably just having a pity party because most of my neighbors are from out of town and theyíre all gone. At least they left early enough so they got out before the storm hit. But not me. Leave work early just because itís Christmas Eve? Never. I even stayed late to wrap up the Griswold Account. Seems like you could have warned me this storm was coming.
(Doorbell rings. Bill opens door.)
Joe: Hi, my name is Joe Simmons. I wonder if you could help me. My car is stuck in the snow bank in front of your house.
Bill: Well, you might as well come in. I donít think youíre going anywhere else tonight. My name is Bill Carstairs.
Joe: Nice to meet you. I was trying to get to my wifeís parentís house. They live on Scoffield Road.
Bill: Thatís about five miles from here. You wonít make it tonight. Do you want to call them?
Joe: I guess Iíd better, but first my wife is in the car. Would it be all right if I bring her in here? Sheís expecting a baby and sheís started to have some pains.
Bill: And your name is Joe.
Joe: Thatís right.
Bill: I suppose her name is Mary.
Joe: How did you know?
Bill: Well, it is Christmas Eve and youíre Joe.
Joe: Oh, yes, I see what you mean. Coincidence.
Bill: Youíd better go and bring her in. Do you need some help?
Joe: No. I can manage. (Joe goes to get Mary)
Bill: (Speaking to God again) I suppose this is your idea of a joke. Well, I did say I hated the idea of spending Christmas Eve alone. But really - Mary and Joe, isnít that going a bit too far? Now where is that angel my mother gave me? It doesnít seem to be here anywhere. We must have the angel; after all now we do have Mary and Joseph.
(Mary and Joseph enter after knocking lightly. Mary is in obvious distress.)
Joe: This is my wife, Mary. Could she lie down somewhere?
Bill: Yes, of course. Why donít you take her into the bedroom?
Mary: Thank you. This is so kind of you.
Bill: No problem. Listen, should I call a doctor or ambulance or something?
Joe: I donít think they would get here in time. It doesnít really matter, though, because Iím an Obstetrician.
Bill: Good thing. Listen thereís extra blankets in the closet in there, and thereís a bathroom next to the closet if you need water. Just let me know if you need anything else.
Bill: Sure. Now where is that angel? (Pulls packing material out of boxes but canít find angel) Oh, hereís an extra bulb for the lights. Maybe theyíll work now. (Puts bulb in string of lights and plugs them in. Thereís a loud pop and all the lights go off everywhere) Ouch! Man, that hurts! Oh, great! Now we have Mary and Joseph, no angel and no lights. (Calls to Mary & Joe) Donít panic, Joe, itís just the circuit breaker. Iíll have the lights back on in a jiffy. That is if I can find the flashlight. Now where did I put that flashlight? Here it is. (Calling again to Mary & Joe) Donít worry, everything is fine. (He turns on flashlight and flips breaker.) Iíve got it. Letís see here which one is it? Must be this one Ė the main breaker. There. O.K. (Lights come back on) Everything all right in there? (There is no answer) Hey, Joe, is everything O.K. in there? Is Mary all right? (Still no answer. Bill knocks and there is still only silence. Slowly he opens door) Hey, Joe, is everything O.K.? Oh my gosh, where did they go? (Pulls back covers, to reveal angel figurine) How did this get in here? (Goes to door & opens it) No car stuck in the snow bank!!
Bill: Hello. Oh, hi Mom. No, I couldnít get out, the weather is too bad. Donít worry, Mom, Iím all right. (Looking at angel) Anyway I donít think Iím alone. Merry Christmas, Mom.
Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed free of charge, provided no charge is made for entrance or for programmes. In return, the authors would like to be notified of any performance. For further information regarding performance rights, they may be contacted at: NIJWMiller@aol.com.