By Sheila Hamil
The way commercialism has destroyed Christmas is depicted in a series of vignettes,
interspersed with sung comments from the choir.
Note: My Year 8's at Central Middle School helped me to update my drama, first written over ten years ago. My thanks to them! Each choir sentence is sung by a choir to the tune of the Twelve Days of Christmas. All of the actors stand with the choir facing the audience, and step forward when they deliver their lines.
Many parts can be doubled.
Choir: TWELVE DAYS TO CHRISTMAS, QUEUEING PATIENTLY
Adult 1: Hey what do you think you're doing?
Pushy person: What? Are you talking to me?
Adult 2: You've just pushed in, and we've been queueing outside in the freezing cold since last night!
Pushy person: Yes but I reached the counter first, and besides I've got to get to work!
Adult 1: Tough, that's not our fault, get to the back!
Pushy person: No I'm here now and my little girl wants a 'Furbie' and she's going to have one!
Adult 1: Over our dead bodies she is!
Pushy person: Look I don't want any trouble!
Adults 1 & 2: Then get to the back !!!
Choir: ELEVEN DAYS TO CHRISTMAS, WHAT WILL BE GIVEN ME?
(Parent and child enter Santa's grotto, Santa is seated).
Parent: Go on then pet, tell Santa what you want for Christmas… (To Santa) The child's been writing his list out for you.
Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! Right come on and tell me!
Child: Dear Santa, I WANT:- A Play Station….. A Nintendo 64….. A mountain bike….. A remote-control helicopter….. A Sky Digital T.V……A mobile phone….. A Pager….. A keyboard….. roller blades….. A puppy….. And a king-size Toblerone. And I want you to take my sister away! ……..Oh and I'll need a new video. Yours greedily, S. Elfish. (Santa faints) P.S. Your pork pie and brandy will be in the fridge…..
(the parent smiles at the audience, highly embarrassed).
Choir: TEN DAYS OF CHRISTMAS, A WINDOW FOR TO SEE
(All the choir turn around to see Fenwick's window, oblivious of a small child trying to see it too. No-one will allow the child through).
Child: I can't see….. I can't get in….. I can't see….. I can't get in….. I can't see!
Choir: NINE DAYS TO CHRISTMAS, PLANNING FURIOUSLY.
(Busy mother enters tearing her hair out).
Mother: I'll never get all these jobs done in time………. Buy the Christmas tree….. put the decorations up….. make the cake….. buy the turkey….. buy all the presents….. wrap them up….. write the cards out….. buy the stamps….. post them….. wash the tablecloths….. pick up Grandma on Christmas morning….. tidy the house….. party food….. drink…..buy a Christmas outfit….. fake snow for the windows….. Think! Think! What else is there to do! Aaaaaaaaaaahhh!
Choir: EIGHT DAYS TO CHRISTMAS, SOME CHRISTMAS CARDS FOR ME.
(Enter person holding some Christmas cards, obviously "put out"). The writing's too small on this one, how am I supposed to read it? (Pause) And that picture is rubbish. (Pause) HMPH! Cheap skate! (Pause) That card is too small. (Pause) This one should've had money in….. (Pause) And I don't know why SHE sent me a card, SHE'S got a nerve! (Pause) Oh and I don't believe it, this one's got a lipstick kiss on it! How revolting. (Pause) And I don't particularly want to know that their daughter is now playing FIVE musical instruments - Grade 6! (Pause) And no glitter on this one!! (Pause) They're certainly NOTHING --- like the ones I sent out this year!
Choir: SEVEN DAYS TO CHRISTMAS, SEE SANTA AND IT'S FREE
Parent: What's the matter? Did Santa Claus nip you? (Child wails) (Pause) Did you not want to sit on his knee? (Child wails) (Pause) Were you frightened then? (Child screams) (Pause) What on earth's the matter?
Child: He only gave me a plastic badge!!!!!!!(cries again)
Parent: Wait till I get you home, showing me up like this, in front of everybody.
Choir: SIX DAYS TO CHRISTMAS, WHAT'S ON T.V?
Parent: Ah Christmas, a season of peace and goodwill to all people. What's on television this festive season?
Parent: Don't you ssshhh me! What's that you're watching?
Parent: I don't think so, what's on the other side?
Child: Scream 2.
Parent: What else is on?
Child: (tuts) On 3 there's Nightmare before Christmas. On 4 there's Commando, on 5 there's Evil Dead, and on Sky: Grid Runners and Lethal Weapon.
Parent: Hey! What about this being a season of peace and goodwill?
Child: OK, I'll go and watch them in my room then!
Parent: You do… and you'll not be able to sit down till next Christmas.
Choir: FIVE DAYS TO CHRISTMAS, I'VE HAD A SPENDING SPREE.
(Mother enters with shopping bags, adding up the total amount of cash she has
Cards, decorations, crackers etc..£70
making a total of………..£1050………….eeh!!!!!!!!
And there's nothing much to show for it really!
Father: Well how much did you spend?
Mother: Have you had a good day?
Father: Never mind changing the subject… How much?
Mother: I sort of spent…. One thousand and fifty pounds!
Father: What did you say? How much?
Mother: I'm sorry luv, I guess I overspent!
Father: And how are we going to pay the bills now? …………….I'm going out! I'll see you later!
Choir: FOUR DAYS TO CHRISTMAS, COLLECTORS BOTHER ME
(A mime follows here of how folk avoid someone collecting for a charity as they do their Christmas shopping in the city centre streets, with remarks like:-)
My taxi's waiting!
I've got no change!
I've already given!
Sorry, I've only got pound coins!
I've come the wrong way!
I need to be over there! (One shopper to another:) And how do we know it's going to get to where it's supposed to go? (Small child sucking dummy comes up and puts a coin in the box).
Choir: THREE DAYS TO CHRISTMAS, WORKING ANXIOUSLY
Child: Mam come and put your feet up and watch Emmerdale.
Mam: Would that I could!!! I've got too many jobs to do, I wish I had time to sit around and be bored. Work, work, work that's all I do!! Go and tidy your rooms, we need the house spotless before Christmas.
Child: Mam what are we getting for Christmas?
Mam: If you don't shut up you'll get nothing. Now get up those stairs this minute!!
Choir: TWO DAYS TO CHRISTMAS, A HOLIDAY FOR ME
(Husband and wife are watching the television, facing the audience)
Wife: Well, Christmas is over now pet.
Husband: What makes you say that dear, it's not the 25th yet?
Wife: They're showing all the holidays on TV now! Where should we go? Costa Blanca? Costa Del Sol? Costa Brava?
Husband: Costa Packet if you ask me!
Wife: ………….I've not heard of that place before!
Choir: ONE DAY TO CHRISTMAS, SO TIRED AND WEARY
(All look shattered and mindless)
Voice 1: Thank goodness Christmas falls just once a year!
Voice 2: I'm absolutely exhausted.
Choir: We're absolutely exhausted!
Soloist: SOMETHING NOT QUITE RIGHT HERE, SOMETHING BOTHERS ME, HOW FAR WE'VE COME FROM CHRIST-TIAN-ITY.
Narrator: Luke 2:6 And while they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them at the inn.
Copyright Sheila Hamil, all rights reserved.
These dramas are intended for use in churches, youth clubs and schools and can be photocopied, but they are to be used in no way for personal gain, as I have made them available for you and am gaining nothing myself. It is my wish that anyone making profit from them in any way, should direct those profits to Christian Aid or some other recognised charity. More scripts can be found at my web site, http://www.sheilahamil.co.uk