Shaun and Barny : A Sheep's Christmas

By Warren Judkins


Two sheep discuss the announcement by the angels of the Christ-child's advent.



(Note: lean on all the sheep puns, so that people groan)

Shaun: (entering) ......oh com on, Baaaarny, ewe expect me to believe that!

Barny: It's true, Shaun, cross my heart and hope to roast. Have I ever pulled the wool over your eyes before?

Shaun: Nope. You're a bit of a dag, but I've got to admit you've never fleeced anyone.

Barny: Well, there - do you believe me?

Shaun: I'm trying to, but a sky full of singing stars?

Barny: That's what I saw, Shaun. Big bright, brilliant baritones, bursting with boisterous bellowing...

Shaun: Forget the poetry, just tell me what happened!

Barny: All right. There we all were, Ewenice, Stu, Agnes, Mint Sauce and the mob...

Shaun: (interjecting) How did he get his name?

Barny: Don't ask! There we were, at the end of a quiet evening, the womenfolk knitting, the men spinning a good yarn, when all of a sudden this star pops open and starts speaking!

Shaun: Well I'll be shorn!

Barny: You are Shaun.

Shaun: Oh, yeah. But are you sure it was a star?

Barny: What else could it have been? It shone, it was up in the sky, and it was beautiful.

Shaun: But stars don't normally speak. And how big did you say was?

Barny: Oh, billions of miles across, if you count the gas cloud, but then it's hundreds of light years away...

Shaun: No, you woolly wally, the one that talked to you!

Barny: Oh, well it's hard to say. It felt really close and looked a bit like a human, but it could have been a world away and the size of a galaxy. You know how it is with size.

Shaun: (far-off dreamy look, but deliberate) Something from a world away coming close...

Barny: (more to himself than anyone) I mean, if you hold up your hoof to your eye, you can block out the whole Milky Way...

Shaun: (emphatically) Something vast becoming man...

Barny: But anyway, it sure was a special sight. Made my wool stand on end. (notices Shaun) You all right there? You look like you've seen a freezing works.

Shaun: I've just remembered what Chops from in town told me.

Barny: These townies! "Chops!" What kind of name is that for a sheep?

Shaun: Tongue in cheek, I'd say.

Barny: What did he say?

Shaun: That same night you're bleating about, he said the most amazing thing happened!

Barny: Singing stars?

Shaun: Something from a world away coming close.

Barny: Ooo, you're giving me goose-bumps.

Shaun: Something vast becoming the size of a man.

Barny: What'd he see? What'd he see?

Shaun: (solemnly, joyfully) A little baby. (They look at each other in silence for a moment.)

Barny: (slightly miffed) And you think that's more earth-shattering than a sky-full of singers!?

Shaun: (gently) Baaarny, I think they were angels.

Barny: (delighted) Wow, I saw something on earth that lives in heaven? Now that's something.

Shaun: That is something. But I think old Chops is one up on you.

Barny: (a touch annoyed) Yeah? How's that?

Shaun: He's seen something from heaven that lives on earth. (Barny gives a conceding nod as they exit.)


Warren Judkins 1998
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