Gifts for Granted

By Steven Paetkau and David Gruchy


A father distributes gifts to his greedy children at Christmas. The gifts are taken for granted or wasted.


Three children - Alexis, Tiny Tim, and Ishmael


A family of three children and a father gather around the tree at Christmas for gift opening. The children are distracted, greedy, and excited. Three gifts, a dog, a fireplace and a tree are needed.


(The father and children are gathered very excitedly around the tree. There is quite a commotion.)

Dad: Ok, ok kids. Let's calm down…

Alexis: (on phone) …like…shoe sale?...tomorrow?…well… like… I gotta go. I'll call you back in like 8 minutes… ya…ya… I know…like bye (click)

Dad: (hands present to Alexis) Here is your present Alexis; it is some money I've been saving for you for quite some time. I think you may be responsible enough now to spend it wisely.

Alexis: (holds cheque up to light) sweet up! This will totally buy that new pair of designer shoes that will like totally go with my new outfit. The girls will totally like freak out when they hear this! (immediately starts to dial and wanders off)

Dad : (confused) (moves to Tiny Tim) Tiny Tim; I know you've been suffering from your rare African irritant bowel syndrome (TT makes a face). I took it upon myself to go to great lengths to retrieve this cure that will give you life (opens the gift and lifts out a needle giving it to TT)

TT You know dad: I don't really like needles… Look at that; Oprah Winfrey and Ben Stiller are break dance fighting outside! (gives the injection to the invisible dog and walks away while his father's back is turned)

Dad: Ishmaelifur… (Ishmael cuts him off)

Ish: Dad! (ashamedly) Call me Ishmael.

Dad : Ishmael; this last one's for you (he opens the gift) it is a book that I've filled with the knowledge that I've aquired over many years and I want to share it with you.

Ish : Thanks dad (throws book into fireplace when dad's not looking) Hey dad; where's the Nintendo™ that I asked for? (walks off)

Dad : (looks at audience confused, shrugs)


Copyright Steven Paetkau and David Gruchy, all rights reserved.
This script may be used without royalty payment, provided no charge is made for admission to the performance. In return, the authors would like to be told of any performance. They may be contacted at