By Patrick Nixon
Perky the Pig seems to have the wrong idea of what Christmas is about.
Pat: Hi Perky, what's up.
Perky: Christmas is up. The stores have decorations. The Christmas tree is up. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I'm so excited. Presents, presents, presents.
Pat: Yes, I'm starting to get the Christmas spirit. Maybe in couple of weeks I will start my Christmas shopping.
Perky: What are you going to get me?
Pat: I'll get you an invitation to a ham sandwich .
Perky: Ham? (Squeals and disappears)
Pat: Perky. Perky. PERKY!!!
(Perky pops back up)
Perky: You are mean to me. I'll bet that you don't threaten your son with a ham sandwich. You don't have the Christmas spirit.
Pat: You are right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have threatened you with a ham sandwich.
Perky: So does that mean you are going to get me a present?
Pat: Presents for a pig?.
Perky: Pigs want everything!!! I want a game box. I want CD/s. I want designer clothes. I WANT EVERYTHING!!
Pat: Designer clothes for a pig?
Perky: Hey, I'm a with it pig.
Pat: Perky you really are a pig.
Perky: I'd rather be a pig than to have a bald spot on the back of my head.
Pat: What I mean is that you sound so greedy.
Perky: And how else are you supposed to be at Christmas?
Pat: Maybe Christian?
Perky: Say what?
Pat: Perky, don't you even know what Christmas is about?
Perky: It is about getting presents. Don't you watch television? What are you going to get me?
Pat: Perky, Christmas isn't about getting presents. It is about Jesus. At Christmas we celebrate that Jesus was born. He is our savior. In a stable in Bethlehem God came to be with us as a little baby.
Perky: So where do the presents come in?
Pat: Well, if you must talk about presents - the Wise Men - the Magi gave gifts to the Christ child because he was so special. We give gifts to those who are special to us.
Perky: Aren't I special to you? Don't you want to give me a present?
Pat: Perky - you are special. Maybe I will even do some Christmas shopping for you.
Perky: (Squeals and disappears - peeks back up w/ card in mouth)
Pat: (Takes card)
Perky: Merry Christmas.
Pat: What's this? For me?
Perky: Yeah, you are kind of special to me - even if you are going bald.
Pat: Perky, I feel a hug coming on.
Perky: Don't even think about it. (Pause) Well, aren't you going to open it?
Pat: (Opens it) Perky, you shouldn't have. (Pause) It's a gift certificate to Perky; Kentucky Fried CHICKEN!! Thanks Perky, and Merry Christmas to you too.
Copyright Patrick Nixon, all rights reserved.
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