By Don Ebberts
Jesus and Satan square off in the Temptation Bowl, via the broadcast by BSPN, the Biblical Sports Programming Network. A good one to use on Super Bowl Sunday.
Non - Speaking
Zak: Good afternoon and welcome to the X-L Temptation Bowl, here on BSPN, the Biblical Sports Programming Network. It's a beautiful afternoon for this contest. My name is Zak Anaia and on my left/right is Ruthilla Moab. Ruthie, what do you think of today's game?
Ruth: Hi Zak, I would like to start by just letting everyone know how excited I am to be here today. This is going to be a great game. Satan is favored by 14 points and he is the heavy favorite, for a reason. He's cunning, he's smart and he is RUTHLESS!
Zak: That's true, Ruth. Jesus is quite an underdog, especially considering the fact that he is coming here in quite a weakened condition from his fasting for 40 days and 40 nights.
Ruth: I don't see that Jesus has much of a chance, but that's why we play the game!
Zak: Looks like we are getting ready to start. Here comes Satan. (hold up BOO sign, wait for boos to die down) He's looking fit, I think he's ready, Ruth.
Ruth: He sure does look good, Zak. He has dominated the season and it looks like he's going to continue. Here comes Jesus. (CHEER) He's looking pretty weakened. I hope he can make it through the game!
(Jesus and Satan meet and shake hands. Referee flips the coin and awards the toss to Satan.)
Zak: Oh, a tough break for Jesus. Satan is going to start first.
Ruth: Yes, and he has come up with a tough one. He's telling Jesus to turn stones into loaves of bread and (BOO) .....OH MY!
Zak: GREAT COMEBACK by Jesus. He said "That man does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." (referee motions towards Jesus, indicating award of points ) (CHEER) He is starting off strong, Ruthie!
Ruth: He is indeed, Zak but it is still Satan's move. Now he is commanding Jesus to throw himself off the cliffs. If he is the Son of God, he will be saved by the Angels. (BOO) Oh...WAIT....Jesus is using the scripture move and has countered with "Don't put your Lord, your God to the test." (referee motions towards Jesus, indicating award of points ) (CHEER)...........FANTASTIC!
Zak: Yes it is Ruthie. This IS why they play the game. Oh, oh, looks like we have a disturbance on the field.
Satan: (to Referee, very angry) You can't be serious! (Referee turns and walks away, Satan starts to go after him, the Coach holds him back.)
Ruth: I think Satan is starting to feel the pressure. As we go into halftime, we will switch down to the field where Bonne Birkenstock has Satan's coach with her.
Bonnie: Coach, what did you think of that half?
Coach: (very droll) Well Bonnie, we were pretty offensive but we have to get back to our fundamentals on defense.
Bonnie: Looks like you have an emotional player.
Coach: We are all professionals here, we'll just have to get things under control.
Bonnie: Good luck in the second half, Coach
Coach: Thanks Bonnie.
(Lights fade briefly to indicate passage of time)
Ruth: Wasn't that a great performance by the Jerusalem marching band! Welcome back to the X-L Temptation Bowl. Jesus of Nazareth is up 14-0 over the heavily favored Satan. You are watching the game on BSPN. Zak.
Zak: It's been everything that we have hoped for Ruthie. Satan may be coming up on his last move here. He's showing Jesus all the Kingdoms of the World and telling him that they will be his, if he only worships Satan. (BOO) A tough move to resist.
Ruth: You're right on that one Zak. Jesus is going long. He's telling Satan to leave, based on "Worship the Lord, your God and serve only him. Jesus is at the 20..15..10..5..TOUCHDOWN!! & GAME!! (referee motions towards Jesus, indicating award of points and the game. Jesus looks exhausted and gives a tired wave and smile to the crowd. Satan and his coach slink away.)(CHEER)
Zak: Unbelievable! What a game for the young man from Galilee!
Ruth: Absolutely incredible. This is going to go down as one of the biggest upsets in the history of the Temptation Bow.
Zak: It has been a fantastic afternoon. For Ruthilla Moab, and everybody here at BSPN, this is Zak Anaia, signing off from the X-L Temptation Bowl, where Jesus, the underdog, has badly beaten Satan. We'll see you next season.
Copyright Don Ebberts, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed without royalty payment, provided no charge is made for entry to the performance. In return the author would like to be told of any performance. He may be contacted at: email@example.com