Peter in Prison
By Warren Judkins
A humorous telling of the story of Peter's escape from prison.
Acts 12: 1-17
4 Church members
(Narrators are on either side of the stage. Between them, on one side is
the church, with Peter: and on the other side are the guards, who form
Narr 1 : It was tough times for the church in Jerusalem (Peter mimes
Narr 2 : Each day brought fresh persecution (mob mime throwing stones)
Narr 1 : And King Herod had Simon Peter arrested .......(mob grab Peter)
Peter : Hey!
Narr 1 : And thrown in prison (throw Peter into mob who become guards)
Narr 2 : The plan was to execute Peter after the Passover
Peter : What?!
Narr 1 : So he was heavily guarded (guards sit on Peter)
Narr 2 : With sixteen soldiers
Peter : Help !!
Narr 1 : Atten-shun!! (guards leap to Attention)
Narr 2 : That’s better
Narr 1 : But all the time Peter was in prison, earnest prayer was
up to God
the church. (church kneels and prays, Peter relaxes, twiddle thumbs and
Narr 2 : The Passover passed
Narr 1 : Time was running out for Peter
Narr 2 : The church kept praying
Narr 1 : It was the night before -
Peter : Look, don’t talk about it, Okay?!
Guard : Any last requests?
Peter : A Pixie Caramel?
Guard : Uh - Uh. The last Prisoner with one of those escaped!
Peter : Bother. I’ll need a miracle, then.
Guard : Sorry, I’m an atheist.
Peter : Oh, really? How does it feel to be an endangered species? (points
Guard : You’ll find out tomorrow! (mimes ‘chop’) Chop!
Narr 2 : And after other such pleasantries, they settled down for the
Narr 1 : Peter made himself comfortable in his chains (takes off jacket)
Narr 2 : Said his prayers
Peter : If only I had a miracle.
Narr 1 : And went to sleep (all snore)
Guard : Chop! (loudly). (Peter leaps up, shuddering) Just teasing!
Sleep well! (they all snore some more).
Narr 1 : Now all his life, Peter had been a special case. (Peter dreams
Narr 2 : Remember, for instance, his famous water-walking episode....
Peter : (dreaming) (idiotically:) Hey Lord, look at me, I’m w-
Narr 1: Splash!
Narr 2 : Or do you remember his wise words at the transfiguration?
Peter : (dreaming) (idiotically) Hey Lord, this is really neat, like
really great! Tell ya what, why don’t John and I build you and the dudes
some houses here, so we can -
Narr 1 : (loudly) BE QUIET!
Narr 2 : God said
Narr 1 : And listen!
Narr 2 : And when it really came to the crunch
Peter : Jesus who ?!
Narr 1 : Cock-a-doodle-do! (Peter buries his face in his hands)
Narr 2 : Peter just didn’t have what it took.
Narr 1 : (on a different note....) But GOD DEARLY LOVED PETER,
Narr 2 : Totally overlooked his faults, (Peter cheers up a bit)
Narr 1 : And saw Peter’s love and zeal for him.
Narr 2 : So Jesus gave him the keys of the Kingdom
Narr 1 : And started his church with Peter. ( Peter tries to flex muscles
but is chained)
Narr 2 : Speaking of which .......
Church # 1: O Lord, please save Peter
Church# 2: (fervently) Please release him from prison
Church # 3: (beseechingly) Comfort him.......
Church # 4: Encourage him......
Church # 1: Deliver him.........
Rhoda : Please do something with him! (they all look at her) (Suddenly
an angel appears and foes over to Peter).
Angel : Psst! (pause : No response from Peter). Pssst!! (Peter groans
in his sleep) Pssssstttt!!!! (Angel thumps Peter on side). WAKE UP!!
Peter : Huh?! (Shields eyes) Boy, I’ve been having funny dreams
Angel : Quick! Get up! (shakes him) (Peter slowly rises, miming chains
falling off. Peter shades his eyes and rubs his wrists)
Peter : You know, I could swear my chains had just fallen off.......
Angel : Come on, get dressed (hands Peter his jacket)
Peter : (mutters, while putting it on) Awfully bright in here.......
Angel : (holds up Peter’s shoes) Shoes? All set? Good, now follow me.
Peter : Huh? Where are we going? (rubs eyes. Angel puts hands on her
hips, then grabs Peter’s hand)
Angel : You must be Simon Peter - (leads him through guards)
Peter : Wow! That looked just like the big iron gate just swing
open by itself!! I must stop eating cheese at bedtime. (to Angel as they
walked around) Did you know that cheese can make you dream funny things?
(Angel exits, unnoticed)... just
like what I’m seeing now (Peter suddenly notices Angel has gone. He
(Peter rubs wrists, pinches self - ouch! - , Looks up and down
the street) An Angel?! A Miracle?! (he faints). (re enter Angel, with bucket
of water which she pours over Peter, who revives. Angel exits)
Peter : (spluttering....) Thank you God! You’ve saved my life! (gets
up and wanders wringing out his shirt). Nice night for a shower! (whistles
and walks). Hey - isn’t that Mary’s house? What are they doing up at this
hour? (knocks on door). I’ll tell them the good news.
Rhoda : (get up to door) Who is it?
Peter : It’s me Peter!
Rhoda : Its Peter! (runs to others)
Peter : Er - Can I come in?
Rhoda : Hey, everyone, it’s Peter at the door!
Church #1 : What?!
Church #2 : Don’t be daft!
Church #3 : He’s in prison!
Church # 4 : We’re praying for him!
Rhoda : God’s set him free and he’s here!
Peter : (knocks) Can I come in please?
Church # 1 : Nonsense - now let’s get on with our prayer.....
All : Yes! (bow heads)
Peter : (thumps on door) CAN I PLEASE COME IN?! (All look up startled.
Rhoda runs to door).
Rhoda : Ooo - Sorry, Peter. Do come in.
Church # 1: Peter!
Church # 2: You’re free!
Church # 3: It’s a miracle!
Church # 4: (Hugs him) Yeuck! A wet miracle!
Church # 1: Praise God!
Church # 2: What happened?
Peter : I’ll tell you what happened: You prayed, that what!
All : Aaah!
Narr 1: ...and so Peter went on to tell them how God sent his angel
to set him free.
All : Praise God!
Narr 2: And they were all very happy
Narr 1 : And very surprised
Narr 2 : Funny, really
Narr 1 : After all, they were praying!
Narr 2 : You’d think they’d have left the light on for him, wouldn’t
Copyright Warren Judkins, all rights reserved.
This script may be used without royalty payment, provided no charge is made for
entrance to the performance. In return, the author would like to be told of any
performance. He may be contacted at: firstname.lastname@example.org