By Kathy Graff
Zacchaeus unexpectedly brings home visitors for dinner. His wife Lucy is not quite prepared for visitors. Especially one in particular.
Lucy (Zaccahaeus' wife)
Zacchaeus (Zac) the tax collector
(Lucy is crocheting a blanket. Dave runs in out of breath desperate to tell Lucy something).
DAVE: Lucy! Lucy!
LUCY: (under her breath) Oh....terrific.
(DAVE is easily distracted by Lucy crocheting a blanket. He forgets why he's there.)
DAVE: Oh cool....what's that you're making.
LUCY: (Sarcastically) Hi DAVE. A fisherman's afghan.
DAVE: Very cool.
(DAVE sees the dish of cookies.)
DAVE: Are those chocolate chip?
LUCY: Yes, DAVE.
DAVE: Can I have a couple?
LUCY: Yes, DAVE.
DAVE: Hey….got milk? (mouth is full)
LUCY: You're here for a reason?
DAVE: Oh, I almost forgot. Your husband's coming down the driveway and he's got some people with him.
(Dave helps himself to more cookies. Lucy looks out the window.)
LUCY: Great! Now who is he bringing home. Better not be strangers.
DAVE: Sorry Lucy, I tried to get here sooner but I couldn't get past the crowd. You see there was this guy........(interrupts himself when he sees the chips)…hey, can I have some of these? (reaches for some chips).
LUCY: Go ahead.
DAVE: So anyway, I know how you hate it when he brings people home and doesn't give you enough warning. 'Cause I know how you like to make sure the house is clean and everything.
LUCY: (Under her breathe) I hate when that happens.
DAVE: I know.... and I really tried to get here as soon as I could.
LUCY: I know DAVE. Thanks. You can go now.
(DAVE starts to leave out the back door. Goes back and grabs the bag of chips.)
DAVE: Lucy, don't be so hard on him this time. OK? (DAVE exits.)
(Zacchaeus enters through the front door.)
ZAC: Lucy, I'm home.
(He is obsessed with finding a money bag. He starts looking for it.)
LUCY: Zac, what are you doing home so early?
ZAC: I'm looking for something. I don't remember where I put it.
LUCY: What is it?
ZAC: It's a money bag. I thought I left it over here?
LUCY: Speaking of which, where is our share of the tax money you collected today?
ZAC: Well……I….um….well….. sort of gave it away.
LUCY: Gave it away? To whom?
ZAC: (Nervously to his wife) Uh, well….to the poor?!?!
LUCY: To the poor? What were you thinking? Are you completely out of your mind?
ZAC: No? Well, a little maybe. Where did I put it?
(Lucy sees the money bag and hides it when he's not looking.)
LUCY: What do you plan on doing with it?
ZAC: Same thing.
LUCY: Zac, what has gotten into you? And who are those people in our living room?
ZAC: That's another thing I need to talk to you about. But I gotta find that money bag first.
LUCY: You got some explaining to do.
(Zac finally stops looking for the money bag to give his complete attention to Lucy.)
ZAC: Lucy, one of them is Jesus.
LUCY: Jesus who?
ZAC: The one I told you about. You know. The man who heals people. Lucy, Jesus is the Messiah.
LUCY: I don't have time for this nonsense.
ZAC: No, really.
LUCY: Zac, we've had this discussion before. Have you actually seen Him heal somebody?
ZAC: Well, no, not actually.
(Lucy sits down and continues to crochet.)
LUCY: I rest my case. Honestly Zacchaeus. What has gotten into you?
ZAC: He changed my life Lucy.
LUCY: Yeah, right. And I suppose He just dropped out of the sky and landed right in front of you.
ZAC: Well, not quite. I sort of dropped in on him.
LUCY: Sort of....?
ZAC: Well, I was up in this sycamore tree....and....
LUCY: You were up a what?
ZAC: I couldn't see him over the crowd so I climbed this sycamore tree. You know how vertically challenged I am.
LUCY: So you dropped in on him and invited him to our place for dinner.
ZAC: Well, no. It didn't exactly go that way either.
LUCY: Enlighten me.
ZAC: He kind of invited himself.
LUCY: Kind of. Did he or didn't he?
ZAC: Well, here I am sitting on a branch in this tree.....
LUCY: Yeah, I heard that part.
ZAC: Jesus walks by, looks up and says "Zacchaeus, come down immediately, I must stay at your house today." (to himself) Man, I couldn't get down out of that tree fast enough.
(Lucy just looks at him, speechless.)
ZAC: Well what else was I gonna do? He commanded me.
LUCY: Commanded you?
ZAC: And that's another thing. I promised that if I cheated anybody out of anything, that I would pay them back four times the amount.
LUCY: What? Four times? How am I supposed to react to that? What kind of a man invites himself over to a stranger's house.
ZAC: That's just it Luc. I wasn't a stranger to Him. He knew me. Out of all those people in the crowd, He noticed me.
LUCY: Well that wouldn't be so hard. You were probably the only idiot up in a tree.
ZAC: While everybody else was pointing their finger at me and yelling sinner, Jesus called me.....by my name. And now He's in our home, and I really want you to meet him.
LUCY: (Goes back to her crocheting and starts making excuses) I...I don't think so. I'm a mess....the house....it's a wreck…..this is embarassing. Some other time. You go entertain Him.
ZAC: Lucy. He said something else.
LUCY: (Reluctantly) What?
ZAC: After I said I would pay back those I cheated, He said, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." I don't know about you Lucy. But I was lost.
(Zac walks closer to Lucy.)
ZAC: Come meet Him. He doesn't care what shape the house is in. It's your heart he cares about. He already knows you Lucy. Now He wants you to meet Him.
(Zac holds his hand out for Lucy….she hesitates at first, but then puts her hand in his and they make their way off the stage (towards the living room). Lucy stops.)
LUCY: Wait a minute.
(Lucy goes back to get the bag of money she hid. )
LUCY: Here. Somebody else may need it.
(They walk out together.)
© Kathy Graff 1998, All rights reserved.
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. She may be contacted at: email@example.com