By Paul E. Russell
A satirical look ate the parting at the red sea from the perspective of two jelly fish, Barry & Larry.
Exodus 14: 15-31
Barry & Larry the Jelly Fish.
(Two people enter and wander around. One stops and stares out, looking quite shocked.)
Barry: Wow, come look at this Larry, come check this out.
Larry: I've seen it before. It's been there for months.
Barry: You mean this giant chasm of air. I don't think so.
Larry: Are you sure?
Barry: Larry, don't you think I would have noticed a giant vortex of death and column of air racing through the ocean?
Larry: I guess so, dare you to swim into it.
Barry: Um, no, I don't think so.
Larry: Go on!
Barry: Larry it's air. You know what happened to Tony, no water no way to breathe.
Larry: What are you, a jellyfish?
Barry: Well yes, actually I am, and so are you.
Larry: Oh yeah, that's right. Barry, it can't be air. Air is always up and that is more, you know, in a horizontal direction.
Barry: You mean left.
Larry: Yeah that's it, left.
Barry: If it isn't air, then how come all those two leggers are walking through it? Larry: And people say I'm dim. They're not two leggers - we're at the bottom of the ocean.
Barry: Larry, they have two legs and they're walking. What would you call them?
Larry: Nah, it's just a normal school.
Barry: A school? What school do you know that has legs?
Larry: Oh yeah, I see them . . . legs . . well what do you know . . they must be crabs.
Larry: Yes Barry, crabs have legs. I don't know, it's like talking to a piece of drift wood sometimes, having a conversation with you.
Barry: Larry, don't crabs have eight legs?
Larry: Ten, if you count their nippers.
Barry: No, eight is counting their nippers.
Larry: Is that counting those silly little flipper things on their backs?
Barry: Can you see any little flipper things on their backs?
Larry: Well no, but crabs are always great at camouflage.
Barry: Do they look camouflaged to you?
Larry: No, but that one is wearing red.
Barry: Red? So what?
Larry: Crabs are red. Barry: Only when they are cooked.
Larry: Maybe they are cooked.
Barry: Larry, you are a jellyfish. When have you ever seen a cooked crab?
Larry: Well never, but maybe that's why they are so hard to recognise.
Barry: Look, Larry, that one has a foot.
Larry: Oh yeah, sea slugs
Larry: Seriously, it's like chatting with a barnacle. Sea slugs, they must be sea slugs. They have a foot.
Barry: How many sea slugs do you know that wear sandals?
Larry: Well none, sea slugs are very isolated creatures and don't have very many friends.
Barry: How many sea slugs have you seen that have knees and can breathe in air?
Larry: Maybe they're holding their breath.
Barry: Oh, they're gone. I guess we will never know what they were for sure.
Larry: (about to talk but freezes) B-B-B-Barry…
Barry: Look, I truly thought they were two leggers, but I may have been wrong.
Larry: B-B-BARRY LOOK!!
Barry: What? Oh, look at that, thousands more of them. Look Larry, those ones have four legs, look how fast they are going.
Barry: Do you still think they are holding their breath?
Larry: Whales breathe air and swim on the bottom of the ocean floor.
Barry: They're not whales, Larry.
Larry: I know, interesting fact though.
Barry: More interesting though is why are these two leggers all dressed the same?
Larry: Ooh, look they have pointy things. Do you think they are friendly?
Barry: Larry, when have you ever known things with pointy things to be friendly?
Larry: Oh yeah (rubs his bottom). Hey Barry, do you think they know that the air is disappearing?
Barry: I don't think so.
Larry: That shiny stuff looks pretty hard to swim in.
Barry: I told you they were two leggers. Look how bad they are at swimming
Larry: Oh well, fun's over. (Larry walks away and calls from off stage)
Larry: Hey Barry, come check this out this shell. Looks exactly like your mother in-law. Barry: Larry! What are you doing, put that down. Hello mum.
This is a Paul E. Russell script. Please notify him by email if you choose to produce this skit. His address is email@example.com . The writer would also appreciate any feedback and photographs of the production.